APOLOGY
Two MEN stand in a room. They are facing each other,
exhausted, panting and sweating.
MAN 1
I should apologize for that.
MAN 2
I should too
MAN 1
I really lost my head, screamed a lot.
MAN 2
I know. I was saying crazy stuff just now too. Very angry.
MAN 1
I called you a cancer. That was wrong.
MAN 2
I shouldn't have compared you to so many genocides.
MAN 1
I'm sorry I flung all those shoes at you.
MAN 2
It was wrong of me to surprise you with that wheelbarrow.
MAN 1
So many nails! I threw so many nails at you!
MAN 2
They hurt! Then again, did I need to catch your nutsack skin
in a vice?
MAN 1
No, you did not. Nor did I need to correctly articulate your
faults as a person.
MAN 2
That's for sure. But did I need to speculate on the sexual
transgressions of your wife? And mother?
MAN 1
Nope. Just like I didn't need to punch your windpipe exactly
53 times.
MAN 2
I doubt your knees needed to be whacked with an oak board
like I did.
MAN 1
No more than your eyeballs needed to be squished so
decisively by me.
MAN 2
Or your left eardrum plucked out by my thumbs.
MAN 1
Sorry about the acidic spray.
MAN 2
And the mace shower.
MAN 1
And calling you mean.
MAN 2
And calling you mean.
MAN 1
I was mean.
MAN 2
I was too.
They begin to fight.