BAD LEADER
A group of men in army fatigues, clutching weapons, in a
grand hall.
REBEL LEADER
Congratulations, my fellow rebels! We have taken power from
the evil dictator!
REBELS
Hooray!
REBEL LEADER
We has brilliant strategies, excellent teamwork and
communication! It was a tough job, but we stuck together and we did it!
REBELS
Hooray!
REBEL LEADER
Now it's time for us to choose a leader to replace the
dictator! I recommend this... a pile of cured ham with two googley eyes.
He lifts a box and reveals a pile of cured ham with googley eyes.
REBEL 1
You're kidding, right?
REBEL LEADER
No, I think this guy would be good. I mean, he's not the
best, but he's probably got the best shot of winning over the hearts of the
people.
REBEL 2
He's not a person. That's a pile of ham.
REBEL LEADER
Yeah, he's got shortcomings. But a leader isn't going to be
all things to all people. You want someone that more middle of the road so
everyone supports him.
REBEL 1
It's not that he has shortcomings. It's that he's not a "he."
It's a pile of ham. It's not a human being.
REBEL LEADER
This guy has tested well. I organized a focus group and this
guy tested highest.
REBEL 3
He's pretty adorable.
REBEL 1
Frank! Don't help!
REBEL 2
Can I suggest that maybe we are really good at working
together at tasks that require teamwork, but lousy at picking leaders?
REBEL LEADER
You're still mad because we picked that wild boar to be our
field general.
REBEL 2
I am mad about that! He was a terrible general and also not a
human and also pork related! Which, I mean, that's weird.
REBEL 1
Yeah, if we hadn't had such a good plan going into that
battle we would have been in big trouble depending on General Wilbur.
REBEL LEADER
He got the job done, we defeated the dictator.
REBEL 2
No, WE got the job done by working together.
REBEL 3
General Wilbur was cute.
REBEL 1
Frank!
REBEL 2
We need to pick a leader befitting our success at working
together.
REBEL LEADER
Ok, how about Mitt Romney?
REBELS
Go with the ham.
Yep.