Spite presents:

No doubt about it. Red Sox 2004 World Champs:
WE CALLED IT!

by Kevin Hines and Will Hines

(Don't forget to see
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2004 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2003 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2002 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2001 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 2000 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 1999 edition, or
Red Sox: This is Their Year, 1998 edition.)


Was there ever any doubt? You saw our proof so you must have realized it was inevitable: The Red Sox won the World Series. This WAS their year.

What's it like to see the future? It's serene. While the rest of the Red Sox Nation sat at the edge of their seats, we were relaxed. Even when the Yankees took a three game lead in the best-of-seven playoff series to determine who went to the World Championships, we just slipped our hands behind our heads, chomped on our victory cigars and said , "It's in the bag."

If you didn't believe us when we originally predicted the championship, you now must realize now that we know what we are talking about. If we tell you to buy a lottery ticket, you better buy that lottery ticket. If we tell you that you should get a pet pig, you go get a pet pig. And name him Wilbur. Yeah, that's right. Wilbur. We predict that's what you should do.

By now, you are obviously frothing at the mouth - demanding more predictions from our flawless research staff. Well wait no longer. We won't waste your time with proof - our prognosticating record is all the proof you need. Here are our other predictions:

  • Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle: Best Movie 2004
  • Cats will learn to talk.
  • Cars will be replaced with huge bikes which will be replaced with small cars.
  • By Christmas, Michigan will become part of Canada.
  • In 10 days, Americans will independently and simultaneously begin eating only Triscuits.
  • In 2005, the Red Sox have an undefeated season.
  • In 2006, the Red Sox have an undefeated season of all perfect games.
  • Finally, the Red Sox win the World Series 2005 through 2121.

Congrats, Red Sox! We knew you had it all along!


Kevin and Will are never wrong about anything ever.

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