Harold Night 2003 — 12 of 27
Will Hines
Section 1 - Lobby and Bar
Entrance is up from The Lobby. The player is in Entrance. The description of Entrance is "You are just inside the entrance to the UCB Theatre. The streets of New York are behind you to the east. The actual theater is underground, and there are stairs here leading down to the box office.".
Down from Entrance is The Lobby.
Reality is east of Entrance. The description of Reality is "You push open the doors of the UCB Theatre and feel the cool breeze of a NYC autumn hit you in the face. One more step (to the north) and you leave this improv life behind you."
Normal Life is north of Reality.
Instead of going nowhere from Reality, try going north.
Instead of going north from Reality the first time:
say "Are you sure? If you leave now, you're not coming back."
Instead of going north from Reality the second time:
say "Okay! You leave. You walk to the subway and go home. Tomorrow you start a job hunt and soon you have a 10-6pm job monitoring currency markets in Eastern Europe. You soon meet someone nice through friends at a karaoke night and then you both move to somewhere outside of Providence. You both make little humans and join a bowling league and you watch prime time network television and you know what? It's pretty great!";
end the story finally saying "You have a normal life.".
Before going west from Reality:
say "Yeah, what were you thinking? You stay at UCB and stay obsessed with improv and stay out at bars talking about Harolds and criticizing British sitcoms and writing scripts and buying dumb props and doing impersonations of each other for the next always always."
The Lobby is a room. The description of the Lobby is "You're below street level, in the lobby of the UCB Theatre. The panelling and not-quite-enough lighting says 1970s recreation room. Stairs lead up to the entrance. The theater's house (meaning the stage and audience) are through a heavy door to the west. You see the window into the box office here to the north, and also hanging on the wall are several team photos promoting the different groups that perform."
A sword is a gift in The Lobby. The printed name of sword is "fake ninja sword". Understand "sword" and "fake" and "ninja" as the sword. The description of the sword is "A decent looking fake ninja sword. Probably a prop for someone's sketch show.".
window is scenery in The Lobby. The description of window is "The box office window is momentarily unattended. The intern probably needed a quick break from the dozens of customers[apostrophe] questions (You don't need a ticket, by the way. You're a performer here. You can just head in to the west).". Understand "box office" and "office" as window when the player is in The Lobby.
team photos are in Lobby. team photos are fixed in place. Understand "photos" and "team" and "groups" as team photos when the player is in The Lobby.
The description of team photos are "All the current teams: Ice-9, Optimist International, Monkeydick, Neutrino, Creep and Feature Feature. You like them, but is it bad you also make mental notes of who you think you might have a chance of being better than? Auditions are coming up, after all. Examine a particular team photo to learn more about that group.".
ice-9 is scenery in the Lobby. The description of ice-9 is "A veteran team; lots of teachers. They've gone for a simple black-and-white photo with everyone smiling normally. You respect that.".
optimist is scenery in the Lobby. Understand "optimist international" and "oi" as optimist. The description of optimist is "A powerhouse team. Veterns Brian Huskey, Seth Morris and Jack MacBreyer as well as newcomers Chris Gethard and Shannon O'Neill. These guys have the current record for most weeks winning Cagematch, 22 weeks, which you saw all of.".
monkeyphoto is scenery in The Lobby. The description of Monkeyphoto is "A team of dirtbags and sad sacks. Standouts include Curtis Gwinn and John Gemberling and other weirdos. They seem to break a million rules of improv, but also save themselves by knowing each other so well. You wanted to hate this team because of their dumb name, but you like them. Their photo is a blurry under lit one taken in a nearby deli.". Understand "monkeydick" as monkeyphoto when the player is in the Lobby.
neutrino is scenery in The Lobby. "Neutrino is a team that does all these crazy stunts besides their regular shows: improvised videos, fake documentaries, original openings. They're famous for doing gimmicks at Cagematch timeouts which some say is breaking the spirit of what that show means. As a Cagematch diehard, you find it worrisome, but you do like them.".
creepphoto is scenery in The Lobby. The description of creepphoto is "A team of musical theatre fans and actual actors. The commit hard, are hilarious, can't find game to save their lives and the audience loves them." Understand "creep" as creepphoto when the player is in the Lobby.
feature is scenery in The Lobby. The description of feature is "This one isn't technically a Harold Team, like the others. These guys do an improvised movie on Saturday nights. Two, in fact, hence the name 'Feature Feature.' They are a powerhouse team: Scot Armstrong, Will Berson, John Bowie, Rob Corddry, Jamie Denbo, Brian Huskey, Dyna Moe, Seth Morris and Andrew Secunda." Understand "feature" and "feature feature" as feature.
Instead of taking photos when the player is in the lobby, say "Stealing someone else's work? What are you, a hack?".
Instead of taking monkeyphoto, say "Don't take this. It's all they have.".
a heavy door is west of The Lobby. heavy door is east of The Bar. heavy door is an unlocked openable door. a heavy door is scenery.
Every turn when a heavy door was open:
now a heavy door is closed;
if the player can see a heavy door:
say "The heavy door quietly closes, keeping the light from the lobby out of the theatre.".
The Bar is a room. The description of The Bar is "You're now in the actual house of the theater - a large room that holds the stage and about 200 audience members. The audience separates you from the stage, which is off to the west and north.[paragraph break]Right here where you are standing is the bar, or what passes for the bar: a yard of black particle counter top with stacks of cheap PBR behind it. There's also soda and copies of the UCB Sketch Show DVD there. A heavy door lead east out to the lobby. North leads to the employee entrance to the box office and the restooms. West goes behind the main audience section through the standing room and eventually to the backstage area.".
merch is scenery in The Bar. Understand "merchandise" as merch. The description of merch is "Various patches, t-shirts, a Zippo lighter and the UCB DVD.".
John Flynn is a man in the Bar. The description of John Flynn is "A redheaded guy who is both polite and bemused by everyone." Understand "John" and "Flynn" and "John Flynn" as the John Flynn.
UCB Sketch DVD is scenery in the Bar. Understand "UCB" and "Sketch" and "DVD" as UCB Sketch DVD. The description is "Also available online."
PBR is scenery in The Bar. The description of PBR is "Cheapest beer possible." Understand "beer" as PBR.
The can of soda is a closed, opaque, unopenable container. It is scenery in The Bar. Understand "soda" and "can" as can of soda.
The description of can of soda is "Standard sugar water."
Instead of opening the can of soda, try drinking the can of soda.
Instead of drinking the can of soda:
if Pat is thirsty:
say "Don't drink that! You sense that you need that for someone else.";
else:
say "You open the soda and drink it down. Ah!";
now can of soda is off-stage.
Before taking the PBR, try buying PBR instead.
Before taking DVD, try buying DVD instead.
Before taking soda, try buying soda instead.
Instead of asking John Flynn for a soda, try buying the soda.
Instead of buying something:
If the player is not in The Bar:
say "That's not really for sale.";
try taking the noun instead;
else if Pat is unthirsty:
say "Come to think of it, you don't really need anything" instead;
else:
if noun is soda:
if the player is holding the soda:
say "You already have a soda!" instead;
else:
now the player has the can of soda;
say "Even though you're broke, John gives you a can of soda on the sly." instead;
else:
say "You don't have any money. But John might give you a soda if you ask."
PianoSpot is north of The Bar. "You're just inside the theater, tucked between the bar (which is to the south) and the box office (through a flimsy door to the east) and restooms (further north). A piano is here, which is hauled onto stage when shows require it (none tonight do). There are photos of legendary improv guru Del Close above it.". The printed name of PianoSpot is "Piano".
DelPhotos are scenery in PianoSpot. Understand "photos" and "del" and "del close" as DelPhotos when the player is in PianoSpot. The printed name of DelPhotos is "Photos of Del Close.". The description of DelPhotos is "Del is the most legendary improv teacher of all time. These are photos of him as a young director in Chicago. One shows him holding fire fans, one he's just smiling michievously, and one he's standing with an improv group where everyone is wearing suits and looking severe. You often look at these photos for inspiration.".
The piano is a supporter that is fixed in place. It is scenery in PianoSpot.
Playing is an action applying to one thing.
Understand "play [something]" or "playing [something]" as playing.
Understand "use [fixed in place supporter]" as playing.
Instead of playing the piano for the first time, say "You tap a few notes playfully, but manager Chuck Dauble pokes his head out from the box office, shakes his head, and you stop." instead.
Instead of playing the piano more than one time, say "You don't want to disrupt the show." instead.
Instead of opening the piano, try playing piano.
a pamphlet is in PianoSpot. "On the floor almost out of sight is a pamphlet.". The description of pamphlet is "It's a history of the UCB Theatre. It says:[para]'The UCB Theatre is a real comedy theater in NYC which features long-form improv. That means the actors make up free-form comedy scenes on the spot (as opposed to structured short-form improv games).[para]Improvisers at UCBT use principles of improvisation as developed by Del Close in Chicago during the 1970s, 80s and 90s. In this interactive fiction, you are meeting actual teachers, teams and people from the UCB Theater around the year 2003. And you will use the actual improv principles they teach.[para]The theatre was founded in 1999 by the comedy group The Upright Citizens Brigade from Chicago, whose members are Matt Besser, Amy Poehler, Ian Roberts and Matt Walsh and who had moved to NYC to create a show for the TV network Comedy Central.[para]This is an informational pamphlet (meaning you don't need it to finish the game).'".
a flimsy door is east of PianoSpot. a flimsy door is west of Box Office. a flimsy door is an unlocked openable door. a flimsy door is scenery.
Every turn when a flimsy door was open:
now a flimsy door is closed;
if the player can see a flimsy door:
say "The flimsy door closes, (kind of) keeping the noise from the box office out of the theatre.".
Box Office is a room. "You walk in from the main house, shutting the door behind you. This is the box office, a tiny closet of room from which an intern can sell tickets to people in the Lobby. It's also crammed with random office supplies, lost umbrellas, and an impressive pile of empty take-out food containers. The exit back into the theater is through a flimsy door to the west."
Supplies are scenery in Box Office. The description of supplies is "Some dull scissors, scattered post-it notes, an assortment of rubber bands. None are useful and you don't need any."
Umbrellas are scenery in the Box Office. The description of umbreallas is "An impressively high pile of mostly black umbrellas, accumulated over years. You don't need these."
Take-out are scenery in Box Office. The description of take-out is "Plastic pods -- mostly clear or black -- all with some remnant of Chinese food or sandwich crusts clinging to it. You don't need these." Understand "containers" and "food" as take-out.
Chuck Dauble is a man in Box Office. "Manager Chuck Dauble is here." The description of Chuck is "Chuck is a manager. He's wearing a Detroit Tigers hat, which he was born wearing. He's counting money from the cash drawer.".
Chad Carter is a man in Box Office. "Chad Carter is here, fussing with the computer modem with a hyper-focused glare." The description of Chad is "Chad is one of the members of Respecto Montalbon and is also one of the computer gurus in the community, along with Neil Casey. He's staring at a computer modem which appears to be on the fritz."
Neil Casey is a man in the Box Office. "Neil Casey is here, fussing with the computer modem with religious zealousness." The description of Neil is "Neil is an Irish gentleman who is fussing with the computer modem. He's on the indie team Krompf (spelling inconsistent) with Joe Wengert, Amey Goerlich and Ryan Karels. He is the other computer guru in the UCB world, along with Chad Carter. He is fussing with the modem."
A modem is scenery in Box Office. The description of modem is "A hilariously old computer modem. It is somehow constantly fussed over and also perpetually dusty."
Fixing is an action applying to one thing. Understand "fix [something]" as fixing.
Instead of fixing the modem, say "Let the experts handle that." instead.
Carry out fixing:
say "Fixing is an unproductive attitude in improv.".
A pack of cards is a gift in Box Office. Understand "pack" or "cards" as pack of cards. The description of pack is "A simple deck of cards, like one you might use for poker."
BathroomsEntrance is north of PianoSpot. The printed name of BathroomsEntrance is "Outside Bathrooms". "You're outside the bathrooms (they are SE for Women's and NE for Men's). You can also go south."