Read the mission statement for an introduction and a complete list of stories. Spite presents: DATING: AL DENTE Chapter 2: The Guy Who Cracked His Head Open by the KillerQueen Like quality clockwork associated with the most finely-tuned bowels, we had poured our souls out to each other on the phone for hours each week for many months -- it was incredible unearthing all the similarities we shared over conversation. We were the same age, were devout classic rockers, and had a more-than-passing fancy for Pink Floyd. We drove the same car, preferred to live alone, and worshipped children of the feline persuasion. We had the same religion, the same views on abortion and we looked alike, both embarrassingly tall and blonde. Everything -- from our education to our morals and values to our work ethic to our politics to our spirituality -- was the SAME in an eerie sense, and I ain't just referring to our devotion to Cigarette Smoking Man or our fatal obsession with non-herbal tea. I made a fly-by-the-seat-of-my-pants decision -- literally! -- to visit him as an excuse to have a much-begged-for and sanity-inspiring spring holiday. Without hesitation I found a Boston-bound plane, flew to another country and drooled uncontrollably in anticipation of being in the presence of a man who, by default, was programmed to show me nothing short of the most exhilarating experience of my adult life. Go on to the next page.