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Regarding A Spite Writer's Desire to Be A Space Pirate
What's with all your "Image is nothing; obey your thirst!" ads anyway. I think being a space pirate is a great idea, but tell Kevin if he really wants to be the first, he'd better sign on with me and my droogs, cuz our prototype space pirate ship is nearing completion (we just need a warp drive with the Jolly Roger painted on it.) Also tell Kevin that although we will be a crew of pirates, we will be pirates for the 90's and there will be no crimes of moral turpitude on our ship! (He knows what I mean!) Anyway, I love your magazine and your soft drink. Keep up the good work and shiver me timbers.
Carlos de los creaturos del foresto, esq.
I think he was pretending to talk about Sprite ads. Anyway, I told Kevin -- the one who wants to be a space pirate -- that I was going to run this letter, the "pirate letter" and he answered: "You mean faux pirate letter. A pirate needs to be as immoral as he can be! And in my case, as ridiculous. Buried moon treasure! Planks into the airlock! Unneccessary eyepatches and peglegs (maybe a hook)! Facial hair! Benign wooden steering wheels! Parrots (with space helmets?)! Ar Mateys! Tis Pirates we be....sorry. I will beat them into space cause if I can't be first, I don't want to do it." -ed.
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