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Spite Hate Mail: Regarding Some Dumb Canadian, Mad 'Cause We Made Fun of Canada -- a YEAR AND A HALF AGO (Editor's Note: This letter-writer sent us three letters, all presented here:) (Letter 1): I never read your pathetic piece of shit before but am quite pissed you stole a perfectly good name for a magazine. OOh the hatred i sense in every article you americans are really"spiteful" the only thing you should be angry about is being born in that cesspool you call a country. the magazine is not funny at all and neither are your writers cartoonists et al. you all suck. By the way i hate alanis too but if it weren't for you gullible fucking idiots in the states she would have remained just a canadian loser not the "icon" you pillowbiting americans made her. by the way the whole fucking world thinks your country is a joke. tell that bitch from canada that writes for you that she should be ashamed of what she has become. FUCK YOU i hope i ruined your day! (Letter 2): that mouth on the cover probably belongs to yor fudgepackin editor as he prepares to accept some 12 year olds manhood in his eager mouth. i would suggest you all find another line of work as you all suck horses balls. (Letter 3): ooh you bad guys, you are so rebellious. I can hardly believe your work here is not censored it is DANGEROUS and very "cutting edge" you are powerful writers, svengali like if you will. you really go out on a limb in every pathetic issue.The only reason one would read your magazine is to pass time while fucking your whore of a mother. BY THE WAY CANADA KICKED YOUR FUCKING ASS IN THE WAR OF 1812 AND DON"T YOU EVER FORGET IT PANSIES . Ruined my day? This is the funniest mail I've ever received! This guy also filled out our survey, and told us his favorite part of Spite was "my letters to you i DARE you to post them PUSSIES", his least favorite part was "everysinglepatheticfuckingone!!!" which technically includes his own letters, and that he discovered Spite while "choking your mom with my foot long sausage canadese!" He said he is most spiteful about "faggots like you who pretend to be spiteful and hateful but are nothing more than pampered mommies boys". Well, if my mommy is sucking your sausage, I'd say YOU were the one being pampered, really. But seriously, if you like the name Spite so much -- start your own Spite magazine. It was done before us, and has been done since us. One last note: any war that left you in a different country than me is one that I won. - ed.
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