Spite Hate Mail:
 November 4, 1998

Election night is passing as I type. Despite Clinton's affair, the public seems to be electing more of his fellow Democrats than anyone expected. Since Spite once said that Clinton's affair doesn't really matter, we'd like to think that this election isn't so much a vote for Clinton, as one for us. -ed.
From: Matthew Ridge
Date: September 13, 1998
Regarding: A plague for Spite.

Pox on you and your e-zine. Pox, pox and more pox. I shall refer to your product using the word "festering" somewhere in the sentence for the rest of the month of September for no apparent reason.

I want more Bill and Monica stuff.

Good thing I lost this letter until November! I never even knew I was being insulted! - ed.

From: Nickie
Date: October 24, 1998
Subject: You're dumb
Regarding: Our way way way way old article about Alanis Morisette.

Well in my opinion you lack a great deal of respect for good music and wondeful honest people. If you think alanis is a sell out maybe you should consider the fact that you have probably outgrown the peeing in your bed stage. Right? Well if you have than I resent the fact that you would think that you are the only one who can grow out of a stage. I think you are a sorry excuse for a human being. That is my opinion, as you so freely expressed yours in your horrid web page dedicated to nothing but personal attacks on a beautiful, wonderful person.

Who are you to assume I've outgrown peeing in the bed? I mean, I could stop any time I want, but I find it refreshing. - ed.

From: Mick Elliot
Date: November 1, 1998
Subject: U R OK
Regarding: Guess What? Alanis.

You're ok. Your discourse on Alanis M. was funny and culturaly right on. I never repond to 'anti' or 'pro' web-sites - (it's negative to promote or denigrate) but your talent deserves a response. Good writing backed up with good reasoning is always neeeded in this age of fakes, frauds and phonies, especially when it applies to music (i.e. rock and/or roll). Once the music meant something strong enough that phonies were spotted and rooted out (Kiss, Styx, Countin Crows, Stone Temple Pilots, Nirvana) and the real talent (Bowie, Roxy Music, J.J. Cale, the Band, Leonard Cohen) was celebrated by the R&R press. Keep blasting the bad-I'll keep reading.

You don't like NIRVANA? Next article: a web page dedicated to an attack on Mick Elliot.- ed.

From: Dante
Date: October 29, 1998
Regarding: yawn

Sorry but the whole if Allanis was so bad how did she get so much is such a idiotic point that I must now correct the error. Music History is filled with horrible songs and singers that get awards not to mention the fact that the Spice Girls exist is all that is needed to support my factual statement. Besides how the hell are you goin to be spitefull about music you like? Further more I hate allanis the only thing she is good for is gettin a little head. So please if you feel like punching me do so I can atleast kick the ass of one of the idiots who come here and them want every thing to change for them.

Favorite article: Depends upon the stars

Least favorite: the baseball shit.

Discovered Spite through: Somewere that I can't remember anymore

Spiteful about: what ever is pissin me off today

Something specific and irrelevant: I have yet to give a damn

Wow, Dante, I didn't realize you'd had oral sex with Alanis. - ed.

From: Some asshole
Date: October 17, 1998
Regarding: His moronic view of the world (not his words - ed.)

Hey losers.....I'm here at the University of Florida and I thought I would tell you about some seriously fucked up shit that just doesn't make any sense to me.....seems as though our campus has been taken over by some PC freaks that need to have their heads cracked open just to make there aren't some little aliens inside pushing buttons or something....I mean its totally fucking nuts....Ok, I'll get to the point....First, there is an all black student organization named Project 99 which dresses in camo and berets and swears up and down that they are not out to hurt anybody because they are peaceful but they plan to take over UF by the year 1999.....but at the same time the leader of this pack of imbeciles is some knucklehead who has had three names in the last year....First he was Clifford Strong...then he became Clifford X....and now he claims to Nikita Something or other....who the fuck knows anymore....Anyway, this so called Nikita says that at the drop of his hat all of his followers will rise up and kill all the white people in Gainesville.....Thats a pretty good trick if you ask me and I'm waiting now for the hat to drop cause I'm locked and loaded with no where in particular to go.....The thing that really pisses me off is that this pack of ignorant fuck nuts are given access to to university money and facilities by our weak-ass student government.....Can you believe this shit? I mean...Fuck me!!!! These guys are threatening to kill me and the SG gives them some money so they can plot and plan in air-conditioned style and drink Colt 45 no less, the cheap fucking bastards.....

But.....this is only half the fucking story.....the next group I want to bitch about are the fucking homos....they have their own little club and they get to use my SG money to have little parties where they pass out condoms and lattes and then proceed to give a demonstration on how to use a condom by using a cucumber as a visual aid.....this isn't all....after the demonstration the head homo sticks the condom covered cuke in his mouth and informs the audience that it tastes great! I mean give me a fucking break!!!! What kind of knucklehead shit is this? So, I have decided to form my own fucking organization to combat these two totally bullshit groups....its called Project 69......I'm gonna form this group since its now considered discrimination if you object to people because of their color or their sexual preference, no matter how stupid they are...I'm white and people are always making sex jokes about position 69 and I consider that to be special so I cant have people saying these things anymore....I mean I got civil liberties dont I? I got a right to get on the ole ACLU gravy train just like any other poor whining, no nuts, sap, right? I have to be sensitve to the needs of the cranially challenged so why cant the rest of you insensitive knuckleheads have some respect for me? What about me? Somebody punch my civil rights ticket so I can get on the ole discrimination gravy train!!!!!! Hey, if you don't like it....TOUGH SHIT!!!!! I got rights, too!!!!
signed,
DICK X
Anybody can join if they send me $10. Thats American money for all you stupid foreign assholes!!!!!!

I hate this guy as much as you, but I thought you'd be amazed at his letter. I mean, he THINKS he's the only one who looks at the world objectively, and yet he somehow only has time to bring up the blacks, gays and foreigners who are on the 'gravy train'. Yeah, impartial. And what eloquence! I'm sure he'll be able to convince many others to see things his way with such articulate reasoning. - ed.

From: Another jerk
Date: October 14, 1998
Regarding: Our defense of Clinton

Here we have Bill Clinton,(aka slick willy) probably the most powerful man on earth. Any chick on the fucking planet is his! The man could get women that we dare not even dream about. He could have a thousand hald dressed women willing to obey his every command. And who does he choose? Some FAT, stupid and UGLY bitch of an interm. AND he gets caught. Is this the way we want future generations abusing power?

We have to send a new message to our children. Clinton should go up on national television and apologize. He should explain to our young: If you are going to fuck around, do it right!

Favorite article: That one of fat celebs dying

Discovered Spite through: I did a search on the internet for: Hate Mail

Spiteful about: hose fucking pieces of paper they put in new shoes. The fact that dead celebrities get more attention then I do. Only 25,000 poverty stricken kids die a day. That people fail to reconize me as the center of the universe. Doomsday cults.

Something specific and irrelevant: My hobby is making fun of people who I don't know.

What happened to all the non-jerks who used to read this mag? - ed.

You can also go to the front page of Spite,

Or check out the old mail.