(Finally, we present the following letter, which was typed and mailed. Normally, we'd edit it down, but if someone goes to all that trouble, we feel we should not censor their effort. Plus she's my aunt. - ed.)

I thought about contributing a "rant", 'cause let me tell you, the "paramenopausal point of view" can DEFINITELY be contemptuous and spiteful! I mean, we (those of your readership who might fall into this age and gender paramenopausal category) can make the whining of a pre-pubescent Hansons fan sound like one of those heartwarming AT&T commercials. However, I am NOT submitting a rant, for I find the 500 word parameter just too tedious. (Do you, like, have to count EVERY word? even the itty-bitty articles?) (Yes. - ed.) But look, just so you know, you guys there at SPITEMAG haven't cornered the market on scorn.

Speaking of the market, I enjoyed "Down With The Dow". I hate those guys. I have strong opinions on the "STUFF" theme. (I am trying to simplify, which explains some, only SOME, of my resistance to computers).

Speaking of stuff (another great segue, eh?) Carla Rhodes (who wrote a piece about people who don't own TVs - ed.) needs to know that those of us without TV's CAN be trusted. At least those of us who admit that we really LIKE TV and who admit to having great pride (conceit, actually) at doing without one -- we can be trusted. It's those no-TV'ers who act nonchalant about it, they are the ones who cannot be trusted. If asked, they will say "Oh, heavens, I don't have time for television," which is ridiculous. And then there are those who say they only watch Public TV. They are lying and cannot be trusted. And even MORE sneaky are those who qualify their TV-owning by mentioning that they only have a 13" black and white... or that they didn't have one when the kids were little... or that they only have a used TV that their mother-in-law brought over... blah, blah, blah. These are the comments of pathetic creatures who cannot be trusted.

It is we the TV-free, who acknowledge that it's a big deal, who are trustworthy. When traveling, we choose only hotels with cable, and find TOO MUCH on the tube that we want to watch. We blatantly admit to using the TV-free characteristic as a means of appearing (somehow) superior, when a situation calls for it. For example: ordering a big, juicy cheeseburger when dining out with vegetarians...or in social small-talk situations when your memory is acting like a sieve... it may help you feel less dumb if you can slip in the TV-free lifestyle crap. So you see, not all TV non-owners are the same. Some are better than others.

Sue Murphy
Rural Illinois

Carla Rhodes responds: "Nope. Still don't trust her." - ed.