about your hanson page.... RIGHT ON.
these kids must be stopped, soon.

"Christian Forrest" (cmforres@panther.bsc.edu)

About 30 livid Hanson fans also responded, as you can read on the Stop Hanson! page. Christian was one of the few complimentary letters. Our allies are few, but refreshingly concise. - ed.

I can't believe there are so many weak minded people who have allowed themselves to be brainwashed by this sick song. I agree this would have been nice to have with the Spice Girls, but unlike them I believe Hanson will be through when they reach puberty and their voices do change. It's just plain sick.

From: Jamal Qureshi (jman@essex1.com)

I am a little bitter at your first issue of $pite (I'm sure that was the point). All I have to say is if you ever diss Adam Duritz again, I will force you to sit on an uncomfortable iron chair and watch the last 6 years of Nets: year in review videos while I pump a constant supply of Alanis and Crows at you. I thank you for your time in reading this complaint and your impending written apology in the next issue of $pite.

Ben Davis (BSD93001@uconnvm.uconn.edu)
Re: music reviews which criticized the Counting Crows:

What's the proper conjugation of 'diss', anyway? -.ed?

Whistling, sweaty hair. This is just to express hate for Buddy Holly.

Douglas Pfieffer (dsp14@columbia.edu):
Re: praising Buddy Holly:

Yo Spite,
Doubtless Mr. Bradford Contemporary will be encouraged to learn that Seattle skate-punks and hip, in-the-know, urban cognoscenti refer to Alanis Morrisette as none other than "Silly-ass, screaming bitch". This is certainly in keeping with Spite's official position of loathing this PARTICULARLY BORING CANADIAN. And in cases where brevity is paramount one may simply use the epithet "All-anus". People everywhere will know who you mean, and usually agree. If not, fuck 'em. As for bashing all Canadians I can only say that it is both fair and deserved. Why should they get off so easy? I mean Americans have to put up with shit from every nationality in the world because of John Wayne and Clint Eastwood. And say what you want about bad acting and cliche machismo, at least they're not tepid, boring stools like those toady Canucks, Silly-ass screaming bitch especially. As for those Canadian sycophants that would argue that John Candy, Dan Ackroyd, and Michael J. Fox are not boring, I say wake up and smell the cheese. John Candy is dead; that's pretty fucking boring. Dan Ackroyd; one word: Dragnet. Michael J. Fox; the Official Boredom Poster Child. Sheesh. These people are about as boring as it gets. Fucking A.

Shawn Mulanix (smulanix@bigrain.com)
Re: attack on Alanis Morissette

Shawn, your desk at Spite Magazine is waiting. -.ed

I propose a probing essay topic: Thoreau as the modern day Unabomber. or Unabomber and Thoreau: Twins at Birth (But One Cryogencially Freezed)

Steve Castellano (CastelS@pwj.com)

As a representative of the Lobster United Red Claw Shellfish Union (LURCSU), pronounced (ler-sue), I feel it is my duty to vote AGAINST the "Canada is Maine" party.

Agreed, Canada and Maine both have three vowels in their name... BUT, have you considered the consonants? Take a look: THERE's an overabundance in the word CaNaDa. Perhaps, because they are a land of gluttons!?! Maine uses the most efficient number of consonants in their name and even minimizes the use of vowels by making the E silent.

Of the reported 1.2 M in Maine: the .2 are half lobster. (sometimes the lobster catchers (fishermen) get just as horny as those Ohio sheep farmers. A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do... even if it is a small, inocent, tight, redshelled friend.

I could go on, but these are the crux of my argument that Maine is NOT Canada. I would argue that Canada is just a region of Alaska, but it is an insult to consider that Lobster and Trading Posts are synonomous.

Thank you for your time,

Sebastion Butterclaw (no address given)
Re: Spite's Canada Is Maine policy.

Die, pig boy.

Face it. Easy Come. Easy Go. White wine today. Cisco from the 7-11 tommrow. Live it now.

Caveat lector.

Charles Pickett (ToxicChuck@aol.com)
Re: Editor's letter about how he was swimming in cash.